Dancing Cures The Pain

Currently Listening To
A) Zebra by Beach House
B) Nowhere Man by The Beatles
C) Spit on a Stranger by Pavement
D) Pale Blue Eyes by Lou Reed
E) Time To Pretend by MGMT
F) The odd sounds of a quiet house because my wife has taken my daughter to the doctor, car-wash, bookstore, OTB (off track betting) a tour of Camden, to see the movie Black Swan, bow-hunting for elk and possibly a bite to eat at the local crab shack if they don't bag any elk. (truth be told my daughter only eats a handful of foods.) What she eats- French fries, Chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, buttered pasta,  pancakes, dry cereal, yogurt, string cheese, peanut butter or plain crackers and Foie Gras. She eats a myriad number of snacks and drinks the normal kid drinks (cosmopolitans) but she doesn't eat pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, peanut butter and jelly (weird I know and if u have any suggestions my ears are open) and by the way I know when my wife comes home she will have purchased something. She's not a big spender and doesn't purchase foolish or totally unnecessary items (unless you count the 6 foot statue of Gandhi that rests in our garage) but she never comes home empty handed. One day I came home with an autographed Joe DiMaggio's batting glove and she punched me in the ear (jk)

(questions)
Dear Piggyback Counselor- What was the most embarrassing thing that happened in your life? sincerely, avid reader.
Response- Truth be told I was walking in Penn Station on my way home from my sister's place in Boston, with my head down and not to sure where i was going  when i totally walked into a blind man, with one of those walking sticks. The sad part is he believed it was his fault (naturally) and apologized. I was so taken aback by both the irony and the gravity of the situation that I never told him it was my fault and I truly regret that.

Dear Piggyback Counselor- How long have you been married and how did you meet your wife? sincerely Boutros Boutros Ghali (former United Nations Secretary)
Response- Well Boutros first I'd like to thank you for reading I'm sure you're a busy man so I'll give you a quick answer. We met at a bar in New Jersey. I would go out every Friday with my Russian buddy Oleg and his comrades. The place was a total sausage fest and we were sitting at a table, It was a boring and bleak evening I was wearing a country western shirt that i had bought at a thrift shop. I was not clean shaven nor optimistic that I would meet anyone of interest. It had been almost a year since a bad breakup with my previous girlfriend. My wife approached the table with 2 other women and a rather rotund man/circus freak. Of course the circus freak sat next to me and my future wife sat next to the human refrigerator/circus freak. She caught my attention with her rather nice looks but i was to sober and shy to say anything to her. I overheard her mention that she was attending Rowan University ( a school that i had recently graduated from) Upon hearing this I extended my arm (remember she was sitting next to an elephant of a man so i really had to extend my arm and tapped her on her shoulder. I asked her what her major was with the premise that no matter what she said I would say that I to had been that major. (anybody that knows me well will tell you I'm  a real good liar/fibber/storyteller). Luckily she said she was an English major, now I had majored in Communications (big waste) but had taken a few English courses and compared to most people I'm pretty well read. We talked about books, Shakespeare and classes, I lied about certain professors she asked me about (somewhat convincingly i guess) Than the song Blackbird by the Beatles started playing and we talked about the boys from Liverpool, discussing our favorite albums and songs. I protected her from a very drunk and horny lad who was sitting at our table and celebrating his 21st birthday who was awfully infatuated with her as well. Whatever I said to her worked because she insisted on buying me a beer and a year and a half later we were married ( I came clean about not being an English major and she wasn't to upset) We have been married six years. Good question Boutros.

Dear Piggyback Counselor- What was your most successful pick up line you have used during your single days? Sincerely your Dad.
Response- Kind of concerned why you would ask me that dad? are you and mom doing okay? Honestly the unsuccessful one's are more bountiful and amusing. I once asked a girl- How much money would/ if any, would it take her to get an Osama Bin Laden tattoo on her shoulder. It was meant to be a thought provoking question about what people will do for money but the year was 2001 not to long after the horrific events of 9/11 and she was more of a Jersey shore girl than a thought provoking question girl and all I got in return was a scared and quizzical look ( At least it gave my buddies a good laugh). I once asked a girl at a frat party, what her favorite dinosaur was? (i like and pride myself on being original, that might be why spent a lot of my years single) When I was desperate and inebriated I would tell girls at frat parties that I had just found out that my pet bird Luscious, who I was extremely close to had passed away that morning and would they dance with me to help numb the pain. ( I never had a pet bird ) but dancing cures the pain