*my son was born
*we didn't name him Ira
*it was even better than a really good haircut
*sometimes he smells like a caged elephant and others like a new car but i don't mind
*he looks nothing like Rodney Dangerfield
*his mom was amazing but i'd still like to see her handle a kidney stone
*he peed on me and I just stood there. I will get revenge later
*when i see his face i cant help but smile except when it's 3am
*did i mention his mom is amazing
*i want 2 get a vasectomy (it might have 2 be in a back alley cause Tracy is against the idea)
*he recieved lot's of great gifts but was dissapointed he didn't get a flat screen TV or a pool table.
*he's stuck with me for a dad.
*his sister likes to play with his toys and sometimes she kisses his feet before bed
*i once punched a man in the face for speaking ill of Diane Sawyer
*he has blue eyes just like the man in the liquor store and Frank Sinatra but I'm his dad
*his mom just got home with the kids
*i'm gonna hide in the wine cellar
*oh shit we don't have a wine cellar
*note to self (get a wine cellar)
*i'm one lucky bastard.
